Recently, I am feeling "Human Life" is meaningless--
Struggle to get up early for working, try hard to think what to cook after work, struggle to fall asleep after finishing all the washings, dreaming about works and books, and then waken up be the alarm for work.....full time working plus doing Nephrology Nursing Course by using my days off is very stressful. The course is interesting, which make my life occupied. Thinking of life behind the work and course make me really feel boring....
I am trying hard to do my course so that I can stay in this ares, hopefully get a better position. But, by that time, I will be 30 years old. Then, have a baby, bring up the baby.... by the time the baby become an adult, able to live by itself, I am close to 60, when people waiting to die or dying......
when I talk about this feeling with Matthew, he said to me, "My life is meaningful because of you!" How romantic words are they! But I didnt feel it, until I talk about this with my friend.
I think I was too tired to feel it, maybe also because Matthew always says this kind of words to me.... I have been totally soaked with his 24hrs love.
"You feel bored when your life a peaceful, and sometimes you wish something happens or changes (honestly, I dont think I want anything changes). But when your life is eventful and dramatic, you wish you can settle down somewhere nice and peaceful....", my friend says that.
I dont agree her idea of my current feeling now, because I am very happy about my current peaceful life with Matthew. I am just physically too tired, and thinking of Nature Human Life Circle. Why there is death and live.